Perhaps it’s the impending 30th birthday.
Or the un-redo-able 29 years.
But I’ve been finding reason to note milestones. Not always as they happen, but I can recognize them in a crowd any day.
For instance (the obvious marriage and Jesus-loving notwithstanding):
I remember the day I decided to begin the process of staking a claim on the rest of my life. There was the day I went to see Dan – and began the process of picking through the jumble. I even remember when I first felt confident to put myself “out there” – even for just the sake of practicing.
It’s tempting for me to look back from whence I came and decide that the journey on this side of these markers is better than the time leading up to each of them. Realistically, that’s simply not true. For all of the changes that I have been able to mark, there was formative processes at work. While I’ve been wandering from subscribing to the “everything-happens-for-a-reason” rationalization lately, I do believe that it’s our choice to let these “everythings” have a purpose; to integrate the moments of our life into the greater story that we’re living to write.
I’m planning not to spend too much time easing back into this. My heart and my mind are on speaking terms again and are becoming reacquainted fairly quickly. I’ve learned that pouring my heart out isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and that contrary to what high school may have tried to teach me, I’m not that weird or unliked. Turns out that all was all a misunderstanding.
And the journey really is too important not to be documented.