a teaser

I’ve been doing some more writing.  I nowhere near finished with this, but I wanted to post this little exchange to see what you thought:

“Why don’t you just close the dryer door?!?!” she questioned.

My wife is not easily aggravated, unless you are her husband and you are doing something that doesn’t make a lot of sense to her.  Such was the case on this fateful and memorable day.

“What does it matter?” I responded.

Like her, I am generally non-confrontational. Often, I’m the peacemaker, the arbiter, the mediator.  However, it should also be noted that I’m often accused of being stubborn.

“The lightbulb is going to burn out, and there’s just NO REASON to keep it open.”

One of the beautiful benefits of being in a long term relationship with someone is that you become intimately aware of each others character.  Here, Kristy was attempting match two pieces of rationale with my voracious need for the same.  For whatever reason, I want to know that decisions are being made, actions are being performed, and doors are being shut based on rock-solid justification.

“I’ll just replace the bulb if it burns out… It’s REALLY not a big deal.”

Apparently, my brain found a weakness in her rationale.  She needed something more watertight than that to get me to budge.

“Just close it!” she retorted.

“Why?” I crossed my arms, hardly acknowledging her latest blow as if to say, “I shall not be moved.”  She was going to need something far more powerful than that to sway me this time.

Kristy turned to walk away.  At the same time, my internal voice started it’s own little victory march with enough passion that it felt as though he had grown into a real boy and was physically patting me on the back.  Another victory for the good guys.

What I didn’t realize is that there was another bullet in the chamber.  My wife wheeled around and let a curious question fly.

“When you’re using the oven to make supper, and you take the food out when you’re done, what do you do with the door?”

My knees went noticeably weak. The hair on the back of my neck stood up tall.  My lip quivered.

“I…. I guess… I close it.”  It was the verbal equivalent of running up the white flag.  Just like that it was over.  Victory was hers once again.

In a lot of ways, what I do is greatly dependent on rationale.  If you can either justify a behavior with a reason that I agree with, or if you can connect the reason for one behavior with an existing one that I already do, then I’m almost certain to start doing it.   A similar situation exists with viewpoints, thoughts and beliefs.

That being said, for a long time, there have been a lot of things that I have done, things that I’ve participated in, even things that I’ve given a lot of my life to that simply didn’t have any good reason behind them.   There were things that I simply never questioned.


  1. Ha ha. Replace the story with any story and you have just written a conversation between Laura and I.

    Here’s one for you, Des. Have you had this conversation?

    She is standing in front of our closet and says, “I have nothing to wear.” The closet is full, but clearly it means she doesn’t like her choices.

    Me standing in front of our closet and I say, “I have nothing to wear.” To me it just means there is nothing clean.

    Same words….Completely different meaning.

  2. Let me preface this by saying that our house is far from perfect – in fact, it’s quite the opposite – when it comes to domestic comfort, however, it’s like when Darren leaves the dishwasher open to let the dishes dry (which is totally reasonable, but whenever I close it because I keep bumping my shins on it, or try to use the countertop above, I always find it open again).
    Another point, which as a psychology major, you have probably heard before: doing what appears pragmatic is a part of being male (just as Darren would rather pull an outfit out of the dryer or a pile of clean clothes every day than put it away first; it’s an unnecessary step!). That being said, I myself am quite pragmatic, and I think it’s related to having autism in my blood.
    And to Cory: I think the clothes thing goes a little deeper than that, too. At least for me, compared to my husband, every part of an outfit has to be coordinated with the rest (and I am hardly the fashionista!). You might have a perfectly good pair of pants, but not the right socks or style of underwear, a nice new shirt but not the right pants to go with it (or jacket or bra or shoes, etc.) My husband can pretty well randomly pick a shirt, a bottom, underwear, socks and shoes, and it all goes together!
    Kristy: reasoning by way of analogy – my favourite!

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