We are not limitless. We are real, three-dimensional people with mass and volume and capacity and various types of depth. There are points all around our body where we stop and the outside world begins. Where we cease to be and something else starts. We are enveloped in “other”.
I used to live my life as if there were no bounds to my existence. Not in the “your future has yet to be written” sense, I lived as though I had to be everything to everyone. I had the solutions to problems, the stuff of meeting needs, the meaning of life.
In fact, I would go so far as to say that I thought living this unbounded life was the way “it” was meant to be – the thing that we were all striving for. In my mind, we were all meant to be going, and doing, and verbing in any way that we possibly could.
But we are finite.
We have an end. Psychologically, we have an end. Physically, we have an end.
In “Sin Boldly”, Cathleen Falsani says that in order for someone to be filled, someone else has to be broken – it’s the imagery of Christ on the cross. In order for someone else to be restored, I have had to let myself go.
But, while the Kamikaze may be effective – they are effectively for just a short time. It is not my desire meet my end in a dramatic fireball fashion. Instead, I realized that there were times where I needed the same rest, the same restoration, as others. I gave up my Kamikaze ways and instead began to focus on longevity.
This is how it’s meant to be.